"I didn't have to come over." I said. "I thought you liked me coming over. I thought we were friends." "Is that it?" He asked. "Or did you just like sucking my cock?" he smirked."No, I just liked hanging out with my friend." I said."Well now I'm going to hang out with my girlfriend after school, most days, so we probably can't hang out that much."I felt rejected. At first I thought that it was just because he didn't like me anymore, but then I realized, I would miss sucking his cock. Since we had started this, I had taken interest in porn more, and had seen some of the other boys naked after gym, and even though I wasn't really looking, I could definitely tell that their dicks were small in comparison. It was mostly because he was older, but it was also because he was much bigger than me. It excited me.We argued for a little and he then asked me to just go. I turned to leave and I stopped."I don't want to." I said."Why?" he asked."I want to suck your cock." I responded."No we can't. Dad spotted my distraction and chuckled, and to be honest it was one of the few days when I was glad to get away and go back to my empty house. As I drove I thought of Alex and our time in the park. It had been so unexpected but so invigorating to talk to her, and I could feel that she was weaving a spell on me. Perhaps I should channel a little of my dad. *** During the week I did the thinking that I needed to do. I was at a low ebb professionally and I knew it, finding it increasingly difficult to motivate myself to go through the same material and fight the same indifference. I went for a couple of long walks across Mitcham Common, trying to make sense of my career, but I was rapidly moving to a radical decision, and I could feel it rising inside me. It only remained for me to admit it to myself. By Thursday I was finally able to say it, I needed a long break or I would need to leave the profession. I called my Head of Department and then the Head of the School and made my case at.
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